THE END

I have just gotten the suit to end all suits. If you can read this and you can get to China to visit me, do so. I will hook you up with your very own suit to end all suits.

Tomorrow (5/5) is my older brother’s birthday, Cinqo de Mayo (because beating the French in issues of military battle is such a big and unique deal) and part of Chinese Labor Day general celebrations. So, I celebrated by picking up my handmade, perfectly tailored suit today.

It is a suit of black gabardine with very subtle brown pinstripes. I got a shell of brown silk with black iridescence (in a sort of inversion of the suit coloring) made into a sleeveless tunic with a single frog over the deep slit down the chest. It fits me like a glove. If for no other reason than to always be able to wear this suit, my weight can never fluctuate.

For less than 800 Yuan (with an exchange rate between 7 and 8 Yuan to the dollar), I have a suit and a ravishing silk top custom made to my specifications. Everything I have ever wanted in a suit, it is outfitted with. It has a low, but not vulgar, waist so that my natural waist does not get cinched. The jacket is slim fitting. The pant is cuffed. And the way the suit fits to my body is a thing of beauty.

I actually like my body when I wear this suit. I tried it on and looking in the mirror, the girl with the ravaged body image, thought, “I look hot.”

The addict in me has been triggered and I now want an entire closet full of these suits. In a tiny cubical no more than five feet by twenty with one sewing machine and two weeks, this tailor managed to pull together a miracle.

I hate shopping for clothes and I think I may never shop for them again. His prices are just as good if not better than the mass-produced counterparts and I don’t have to wonder what’s going to fit me, not “well,” but “best.” Simply put, clothes never fit me for one reason or another. There is nothing about this suit that doesn’t work. I am in love.

Seeing myself in clothes made for me has made me think that perhaps there’s nothing wrong with my body. Seeing myself in clothes made for me has made me think that perhaps the issue is that I simply don’t fit the mold set by computers.

Come to China. Get a suit made. Your whole life will change.