MONKEY BUSINESS

I love my little monkey. My little monkey is my angel. He has decided, as all men can, simply to love me… no questions asked.

My little monkey is 6 years old and we began our love affair in the hallway from Grade 2 class 3 to Grade 2 class 4. You see, my little monkey is in class 4 and before I teach his class, I teach class 3. So, as he saw me on my way to teach his class the second week of school, he leapt up on to me and held on for dear life, giggling the whole way. There I was, waddling down the hallway with my spindly little man (who I later dubbed “monkey” because he loves to climb up on me and isn’t happy unless he’s actively dangling from some part of me) clinging to me; arms around my waist, legs around my knees. His sheer-joy laughter is infectious and I couldn’t help but laugh too. He is the abandon of children that most adults romanticize but very few children actually have.

Of course, as I was wrapped up in the sheer joy of such a small child so happy to see me, I happened to look up and there was the king of hotties or “Alpha Hottie” as my brain has dubbed him; the hottest gym coach of them all. As I’m making crazy animal faces at my little monkey who’s whole-body-hugging me, I look up to meet eyes with the hottest man I’ve ever seen in real life who, up until this point, has never looked me in the face. (The Chinese men are incredibly shy; any male who is even remotely within courting age and profession of me cannot look me in the face for the embarrassment. They most often cannot even speak to me. The few times that unmarried, courting-age-appropriate men have had to speak to me, they blushed and could not keep themselves still. My Brazilian Angel explained that while China makes communist claims, the Chinese are still remarkably Confuscist and thus any unmarried, white female of breeding age is the ultimate high-status mate. The great irony of this all is that the men who are remarkably inappropriate for me either through age or [lowly] profession are substantially more appealing as they have no problem flirting and talking with me.)

There I am, mouth agape in a crazy gesture of silliness; giggling, spindly boy laughing with abandon and shirt twisted around revealing obscene cleavage as Alpha Hottie is staring right at me. Now, if I was a normal human being, I would have died with embarrassment, run, hid and cried until the year was over. After all, China is the land of public propriety and never being caught indulging in anything less than appropriate behavior. However, I’m me, they have yet to come up with a stronger word than “shameless” and really, with a boy like my little monkey delighting in your silliness, airs of pretension for Alpha Hottie really stand no chance.

So, Alpha Hottie is staring at me, my little monkey is laughing and I’m looking like something out of Where the Wild Things Are. What to do? I just looked at Alpha Hottie, growled and nipped at him… to the delight of my little monkey. I then said “Ninhao” to Alpha Hottie so he would have to respond and would not be allowed to sit back in stunned amazement.

It took him a moment to respond; the sheer shock of such a public culmination of impropriety clearly having stunned him. But, like all good men, Alpha Hottie eventually came aroud, giggled too and said “hello” back.

I smiled broadly and continued to waddle down the hallway with my little monkey wrapped around me, overcome with joy.

Since our first waddle down the hall, my little monkey’s love for me has only increased. No matter where I am, if he sees me, he hurtles himself (all 40 pounds of him) at me as hard and fast as he can. He does everything he can to spend as much time as he can with his little arms wrapped tightly around me (preferably my neck but my waist, knees or arms will do).

In other words it’s safe to say my little monkey is one of my favorite things in this world.

So, today (10/11) I’m having a rather crap day emotionally. I’m just getting over being royally sick, the kids don’t give a damn as there were Japanese students visiting this week and while I’m feeling better, I have almost no voice.

I wasn’t supposed to see my little monkey today (we have class on Mondays) but he stopped by one of my officemate’s desk to speak with her. (I share an office in the Primary School with all the Chinese teachers who teach English grammar.) As soon as he saw me he came over to me very subdued (as the students know they will get hit if they’re out of line around a Chinese teacher much less if they’re out of line with the White English teacher) and just stood next to me, gently nuzzling in to my shoulder. I didn’t know it was my little monkey until I turned around and saw him, watching me shyly.

“Little monkey!” I cried out a little louder than I had realized.

Calmly and shyly, as he is not to be boisterous around the White Teacher under the gaze of Chinese Teachers, he smiled.

I opened my arms wide and enveloped him in a the biggest hug I could manage. Under my crushing hug, I felt my little monkey giggle a little. When I let go, he was glowing. There really is nothing like the sheer joy of a little one.

He returned to the teacher he was there to see, spoke with her and I returned to my lesson planning. As I was trying to figure out exactly how to make my lesson plan work better for students who don’t want to work, I felt a warm, small nose on my neck.

I turned to see my little monkey had returned after his brief meeting with his teacher to press himself against me. He dared not be so presumptuous (under the watchful gaze of his Chinese teachers) as to reach out to me, so he merely leaned. My right arm and the right side of my neck warmed up and again I wrapped my arms around him. However, this time he did not giggle, he just sighed. He stayed in my arms, nuzzled against me and let me hold him as he completely relaxed against me. It was the kindest, physical gesture anyone has ever given to me.

Goddamn, there is nothing sweeter than that. There are no words for the sort of love a little child can bring out in you.