PUPPY LOVE

I am madly in love and he is amazing. He adores me, he thinks I’m brilliant and he lights up like nothing I’ve ever seen every time he lays eyes on me. When I’m walking around the compound and he sees me, he sneaks up behind me and surprises me. He defends me when people give me a hard time and he lavishes me with praise. He’s hysterically funny, thinks I’m hysterically funny and I’ve never met a kinder man.

Our conversations are wonderful and he’s so curious about the US. He loves to share his comparable Chinese experiences. He’s always open and he seeks me out for my company. He hollers up to my apartment to say hello whenever he knows I’m home. The sound of his voice echoing up through the canyon between our two apartment buildings makes me smile and he stops everything whenever he sees me.

Oh, and he is my student and he is 16.

I so very much adore him because he is the warm, silly, gentle benevolence of men that makes life worth living. Yes, I have tons of students who adore me and tell me that they love me but they really want to do their own thing and not have to learn. There’s no real critical thinking going on for them. As wonderful and adoring and sweet as the rest of my students are, they adore the benevolent exotic maternal figure that I am. I am their door to the West and they blindly accept all that I have to offer because I am not mean. However, my favorite student is desperate to learn and shows his appreciation by questioning and challenging me. There’s really no other way to put it short of, “He just gets it.”

His demeanor around me is so open, sweet and loving that I just want to take care of him. I am torn between wanting to show him everything the world has to offer and encasing him in steel to spare him the pain of knowledge. Granted, considering the ferocity with which he defends me when I’m trying to teach and his fellow classmates are being disrespectful, he’s far better equipped to handle himself than the open vulnerability he shows me lets on. Nonetheless, I wish there was some way I could show him all I have seen in the world and keep him safe.

I came to realize this deep and abiding love for my student when I was informed today that I needed to teach an extra day of classes tomorrow (Saturday the 30th). I immediately thought, “Oh crap. That sucks.” As I was wallowing in my “I can’t sleep in? NOOOOOOO” misery, it suddenly dawned on me that I would be seeing my favorite student and my first urge was to rush home and figure out a class that would be fun for him.

Mind you, before the Mrs. Robinson and pedophile emails start rolling in, I have absolutely no lust for my young student… though I do understand how, if your sexuality wasn’t screwed on tightly, it could get mixed up in adoration for a student. However, for me, I am in love with my student entirely platonically. Case in point: I was leaning over to hear something he said and I realized I was flashing a bit of cleavage (I realized this primarily from his inability to look me in the eye, dropped jaw and general deer in headlights look). My gut response was, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry I defiled your youth!” and then I switched to, “But thanks for noticing.”

Accidental flashing and sexuality aside, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for this kid. He’s so lovely and his ferocious curiosity coupled with his open vulnerability is so appealing. He is the reason this job is the best I’ve ever had. I only hope that someday I have a son so lovely.