GET STUFFED

Happy Thanksgiving!

This year, I am overcome with gratitude about my life. I have always felt lucky, always been grateful for my life and this year is no different.

I spent my Thanksgiving straddling my two worlds. My day was spent immersed in the hectic schedule of my classes and the evening was spent in the four-star Sheraton of Xi’An in the company of my brethren expatriates. My kids were ungodly unruly and my brethren were ungodly disassociated.

My kids were, well, my kids. Even though it was a holiday for me, it was just another day for them. They had varying levels of interest in what I was doing but at the end of the day, I had to stay an extra hour to listen to their newly installed oral exam for one of my classes. I quite liked it and my kids were very excited to have me there. When I walked into the massive room (the one I used with the same class for my open class in the middle school) all the kids swarmed me to say hello. Several of my kids told me how nervous they were and they all had questions about the exam. As I talked with the kids who approached me, other kids sitting on the far side of the room waved to me. I flashed them a "V" with my right hand to indicate I knew they were going to be victorious. It made them smile and they nodded back.

The oral exam was quick and just like the classes that I teach; they are given a topic, a little time to prepare and then asked to speak. Most of my babies did phenomenally well and I can’t wait to tell them how proud I am of them next week.

Once the exam was over, I raced home to get changed and await my Brazilian Angel’s phone call to go for the Thanksgiving party at the Sheraton in the South of Xi’An. She called just as I finished getting ready and we were off.

We got to the Sheraton just as our fellow expatriates were finishing the first course of their buffet dinner. The food was good, I think, but as it’s been several months since I’ve sat down for an honest to god Western meal, it’s hard to say for sure. I proceeded to stuff myself silly and drown myself in the company of "people like me."

There were three couples (my Brazilian Angel and le Francais, an Australian and his Spanish wife and the American and German team who hosted me for dinner previously), two single women (a woman from the Netherlands and myself), two men without wives present (the man from Bern and a fellow New Yorker who may or may not be married) and a Canadian woman whose husband was away. I’ve never seen so many glum, forcibly gay people in my life.

The conversation amongst the women boiled down to where to purchase the best things, the pitfalls of doing said purchasing and the best spas. I was one of two women with a full time job and neither my Dutch counterpart nor I said much during the dinner. My Brazilian Angel made mention of her part time job in passing but she immediately dismissed it as too bothersome, too banal with no pay and only for the "psychological relief." No one spoke of children or passion (outside of haggling over prices) or anything that gave back to the community. Whenever the conversation died down, the women all retreated into their space of sulking until the next conversation of purchasing name brand labels at wholesale prices came up. It was rather sad to me to see how proud the women were to elucidate just how much a mere adjunct to their husbands they are. The only deviation the conversation took from the minutia of a life I can’t relate to was to discuss how (with rolling eyes) the wives need to bribe their husbands to do things with sex.

And I was left to wonder, as I felt a bit like Nick Carraway surrounded by all this excess and frippery, how I would ever marry my two lives. Ultimately, I am Western and the party is what Xi’An knows of Westerners despite the fact that I am not the miserable counterparts who sulked there before me. I don't know how to rectify my two worlds without ostracizing one of them.

However, as I write this entry, it would appear my answer has materialized. The man in charge of organizing the email list replied to my contact (I was told to contact him to get on the list of updates) by telling me that "in order to maintain the integrity of the group" I am not welcome with in the e-list. My suspicions confirmed and my graceful exit offered; I shall no longer visit West Egg!