I HAVE A DATE

I have a date.

Really, what more do I need to add to that?

Today is Wednesday December, 06 and I have a date for Saturday to go to the museum with, you guessed it, Alpha Hottie (who will be known as "Z" here on out). My lunch mate figured out how to do it. At the West Egg party, we got free tickets to an art exhibition at one of the more famous museums in Xi’An. I took two tickets, thinking I would invite my Chinese Angel to come with me, as we usually do things on Saturdays.

However, Sunday, it struck me that I love going to museums with boys. I love going with boys who like museums because I love people who want to be there more than me. And, I love going with boys who don’t like museums because I like to see just how much tedium a boy is willing to suffer for me. It’s really a win/win.

So, I spent much of Sunday and all of Monday morning fantasizing I was the kind of girl who had the ovaries to ask out Z. I mean, I wish I was the kind of woman who could just walk right up to the hottest, sweetest guy I’ve interacted with in a while and say, "You, me, Saturday. Be there or be ." To be fair, I usually am that girl; I see what I want and I take it. However, I’m in China and, as you may have noticed, I’m a bit in over my head when it comes to boys, so it would appear I am no longer that girl; I see what I want and I flee.

I jokingly mentioned my predicament to my lunch mate as a comment on the absurdity of who I am in the States versus who I am in China.

"You should not ask him directly. He will know you like him and you thought he might have a girlfriend." She told me.

"I know that. I’m not going to ask at all. I accept defeat very easily." I explained.

"I wish there was some way you could talk to him about the art and if he likes it, then ask him." She said dropping off into thought.

"No, it’s fine. I’m not going to ask him." I insisted, knowing this would go the route of the Motor Scooter Incident if she thought about it for too long.

"Let me think about it." She said conspiratorially.

"Okay." I said, hoping desperately that she would forget it. Granted, I should know better by now but a girl can hope nonetheless.

This afternoon at lunch, my lunch mate arrived, giddy in that conspiratorial way. I had truly forgotten about asking Z to the museum so I was utterly perplexed when she sat down and gave me that smile of hers.

"I figured it out."

"Figured what out?" I asked, confused.

"I will ask HIM for you."

And the "Oh. Fuck." alarm bells started going off in my head again. Just as there is only one "THE pill," there is only one "HIM" when she and I speak. "Ask him what?"

"I will tell him that you asked me but that I do not have the time to take you. I will ask him to take you instead." She explained as I felt like I was in some sort of "Parent Trap" sequel.

"Right, and you’re worried I’ll get lost so he has to look out for me." I jokingly follow her plot through to the part where hijinks and hilarity ensue.

"Perfect!" She squealed.

"No, I was kidding." She looked at me, blinking as I backpedaled hard. "No, please don’t ask him."

"Really?" She asked.

I cringed, "Maybe. I don’t know. I’m just… what if he’s got a girlfriend?" What if he doesn’t like me blah blah blah as I rediscovered my inner 13 year old.

"I will do it." She said definitively.

I half smiled, half cringed; the most honest and naked expression I could make in that state.

After lunch, we headed to the classroom that Z’s been babysitting this week (the teachers must rotate every week, the responsibility to watch over various classes at lunch) and my lunch mate panicked. We walked up to the classroom, she turned around and grabbed me and said, "I am so nervous" as she then mimed her heart beating fast in her chest.

"We don’t have to do this." I said.

"No, I’m going to do it," she answered resolutely as she turned back around and headed into the classroom.

Just as she headed into the classroom and hollered out "Lao she", a little girl, not quite 6 walked up to me and stared at me, transfixed. In dire need of a distraction anyway, I squatted down to her level and she just stared into my eyes, mesmerized.

The little girl was so nakedly fascinated by studying my face, that I briefly forgot the middle school drama going on between my lunch mate and Z. She stared deeply into my eyes and placed her palms on either of my cheeks. She just held my face for several moments. She then slowly stroked my face, smiled, took her hands back and walked away.

I love that. I love little kids and the mystery inside their little heads. I love how fascinated they are about the most random things and I love how completely they give themselves over to the moment once they are captured. I figured she was my little guru for the moment and I decided to drop the nerves.

As she walked away, my lunch mate came back to me and asked for the ticket. I handed it to her and Z showed me his phone, for what reason, I had no idea. As I took his phone, I noticed he had a picture of himself as the background (like everyone here in China does; it’s either their significant other or, barring a significant other, it’s themselves). As there was no picture of a girl, I took it as a good sign. Then, I realized that this man is not only beautiful in person but the camera is in love with him as well.

They have some back and forth while I’m looking at his phone and wondering what the hell I’m supposed to be doing with it. The two of them sort it out and then turn back to me. She and I teased him about how there was too much chin in his picture and then it was revealed to me that I was getting his number so I could call him before I left for our date.

We tried to do the they-tell-me-the-number thing but that wasn’t working, so I just had him write his number down. Underneath his number, he signed his name in Chinese characters. I took one look at the characters and said, "Can bu dong." (Roughly, "I can’t read that.") "Pinyin ma?" (I asked him if he could write it in pinyin, the Romanized version of Chinese characters.)
He looked at me, nodded and wrote out his name. Finally, at last, I can not only fully understand his name, I can say it as well.

I thanked him and my lunch mate and I scurried out.

"Thank you thank you thank you" I whispered as we tried to stroll casually away.

"He doesn’t have a girlfriend. He likes you."

And just like that, I’ve got a date.

Maybe sometimes life just is that easy.