LORD OF THE FLIES

I love my babies more than anything. They are beyond cute. They make me happier than I could have ever imagined. The thing is, they’re crazy. Not "Girl, you so crazy" crazy; I mean full-on, batshit insane. And, it’s not just my babies, it’s all kids. I mean, how the hell did any of us survive childhood?

I see the bumps and bruises and crazy hits children take. It’s lunacy. Any one of the number of hits kids take on a regular basis would send my ass to the hospital. They hit each other hard, love each other hard and hate each other hard. It’s a wonder any of us ever made it through alive. And they’re so blasÈ about it.

As I walk to my office every morning, "Hello Teacher!" is hollered out by all the students I pass as they briefly look up to smile at me while they beat on each other. I’d be in traction from either giving or receiving such beatings but they can pause casually to smile broadly at the teacher walking by and then return casually to slamming each other.

Case in point: My gay. My gay has taken to giving me little candies when I go by his classroom. He’ll come out of his class with the boy in his class in love with me and they both approach me shyly (neither speaks English in a capacity that they’re comfortable with) to hand me little candies. (Food is a major measure of love because there is not enough to go around and most of the teachers I work with literally grew up hungry. If someone gives you food, it is because they love you and want make sure you are taken care of. Close friends greet each other around lunch by offering to feed each other.) They both share the responsibility of explaining in English what they are giving me, I thank them, they get all nervous and shy saying "No thank you" (the literal translation of Mandarin’s "You’re Welcome") and then they punch the hell out of each other. And I don’t just mean a few whacks, I mean full-on, grab each other, wrestle to the ground and pound on each other relentlessly.

What is that? (Other than the homoerotic [not-so]subtext) More importantly, how the hell did any of us survive?